I turned 48 on January 28. It was the first birthday without my ma but I convinced myself that both my parents were celebrating with me. In all likelihood they were or at least smiling down at me and happy I was having a good time like I always do for my birthday.
It’s also the first birthday I’ve felt older – not mid-life crisis, fuck me my life is over older, just older. Maybe it’s because of all that I went through with my ma in 2025, maybe it’s because my daughter is halfway through her first year of college or maybe it’s because my hubby and I will be married 23 years this October. I do feel like I’ve unlocked my unhinged era though. With all that’s happening in our country, why not – best time to be even more crazy and give even fewer fucks. And, I think I’m just really, really tired, emotionally, mentally and physically.
Well, that was all kind of deep and depressing but the fingers type what they type sometimes.
Here are some recos to get your February off to a smashing start. Happy Groundhog Day!
I’m really slow at reading the pile of books I’ve enjoyed purchasing since I spend way too much time watching TV shows, movies and doomscrolling social media. BUT I enjoy listening to books through Audible during my work commute and on roadtrips. I just finished this one at the end of January and it’s a wild ride. If you’re a fan of the south and vampires, check it out. I dug it!
Mel will be 100 this June and still is sharp as a tack. What a life and career he’s had! Everything covered was so nostalgic. His movies are legendary like him. The footage that Judd Apatow collected and the interviews he pulled off were all fantastic. Everyone loves Mel so I’m sure they all jumped at the chance to participate. Definitely a walk down Memory Lane for this Gen Xer.
Shrinking – AppleTV, Season 1 – 2, 22 episodes; Season 3, eventually 12 episodes; greenlit for Season 4
Such a great feel-good show that’s back for Season 3…and already greenlit for Season 4. It’ll make you laugh and cry all from the same scene and dialogue. I really love it. The cast chef’s kiss! I mean, C’MON Harrison Ford doing comedy is always, ALWAYS superb. But the whole cast together creates a really special show. If you haven’t checked it out, it should be top of your list.
Fallout – Prime, Season 1, eight episodes; Season 2, eventually eight episodes; greenlit for Season 3
Back for Season 2 and Walton Goggins is still the best thing about the show. I visibly gasped over a scene in a recent episode – no spoilers – but it was crazy and made me worry for his future on the show and I’ll leave it at that. It’s closing in on being a wrap for Season 2 already. Time flies!
Bridgerton – Netflix, Season 1-3, 24 episodes; Season 4, eventually eight episodes; greenlit for Season 5 & 6 (at minimum)
As I type this, I’m wearing one of my most-recent Tar-jay purchases – a Bridgerton sweatshirt. I’m soooo glad this show is back for Season 4, even if they’re only giving us Part 1 now and Part 2 later in February. I’m ready for all the tea to be spilled!! It’s one of the few shows my daughter and I watch mostly together or together-adjacent but we can at least talk about it. The following for this show is huge so if you haven’t already jumped on the horse-drawn carriage, what are you waiting for?!
My vacation was awesome. Maybe it was more awesome than it really was, since I have had the shittest year, BUT I do believe it likely was one for the record books. My hubby and I had a great time in the Whale’s Vagina (a.k.a. San Diego) and we packed in as much fun as we could for a full week. The weather was glorious – even with their humidity, I could live with 70s temps for the rest of my life. When I win the lottery, we’re headed to buy whatever is available on Coronado.
Speaking of, I took my ma and pop to Coronado to swim with the fishes, not mob style. I found an old film container of my pop’s ashes recently in our kitchen junk drawer. He’s been “moving” with us across three houses. So it was only fitting that I discovered him so he could be with my ma. I honestly don’t remember if there’s more of his ashes at my ma’s house BUT will find out soon in September when we head out there. Not looking forward to it BUT making good progress on finding quick sale buyers to just be done with it. Anywho, you didn’t come here to read more about these woes – that’s what my therapist is for.
Here’s some interesting tidbits of shows and movies I’ve been digging since my last post.
I am really bummed that the masses, other than me and some really vocal influencers, basically shit on this show so bad that they didn’t want to make more than three seasons. Keeping the momentum of the OG SATC series was near impossible – plus, it was a different show all together. It’s funny how people can’t just separate them entirely and like them for different reasons. They came with pitchforks to destroy this one. I really enjoyed it and was just so happy that some piece of that world was back, all these years later. So, as we close in on the last episode ever dropping tonight, I thank Carrie and team for pulling off a Round 2 and doing it for us grateful fans.
There’s a movement of hate for reboots and sequels of past favorites that’s also gaining momentum. I do think Hollywood has gotten a bit lazy, just remaking old things like new again, BUT there’s a time and place for some of the nostalgia to come back full circle. This movie is exactly that and as funny as ever. Liam and Pamela were fantastic AND that they’re dating in real life is the cutest Hollywood story since anything and everything Pedro Pascal. Pamela is having a moment, after getting drug for years as being nothing more than a slut. It’s nice to see that she’s actually really talented and showing all the haters that they can eat shit. She’s also laughing all the way to the bank. So I say good for her. Keep having your moment and ride it out!
The hype for this show coming back for Season 2 has been off the charts. Did you read about the stupid woman who sat in the Wendy’s drive-thru for FOUR hours to get the special chicken nuggies with the Wednesday purple sauce and skipped taking her kids to Universal Studios?! Influencers sure know how to influence – feels a bit excessive. I leave a drive-thru if there’s more than a car or two. No patience for that. Anyway, the new season is great – only four episodes in Part 1 with Part 2 dropping September 3.
Back for Season 2, Seth Rogen and Rose Byrne as besties is what the show is all about. Seth’s wardrobe is if Adam Sandler gave a few more fucks and cared a little more about brands (and logos) BUT still dresses however he wants. Check it out – you’ll understand what I mean. It’s fun and hearing Seth laugh is always a treat. It’s like Eddie Murphy laughing – you want to laugh too since it’s contagious. Rose is just a comedic genius too – so, so funny. And, the two of them together really, really work. Her husband is an awesome actor too, big Hallmark hunk but has had other parts since rising to that fame.
Episode 9 is out now and wraps the series…and I haven’t watched it just yet but if it’s anything like the other eight previous episodes I’m gonna hold on to my butt. Taron Edgerton really is a special actor – his resume proves that. I think my favorite character though is played by John Leguizamo. Just a likeable fuck-up that’s crucial to the plot and that the writers gifted with a lot of great dialogue. He’s pretty great in most everything he’s ever been in.
Fill in the Blank Reality TV – streamers, cable, etc
I tend to turn the TV on when I’m on vacation and find some truly terrible shows just to have on in the background in my room. I did that again on our recent trip and watched some Botched, Real Housewives of Orange County and Storage Wars. I’ve either watched them some over the years, like Storage Wars, or know of them of course because of their popularity. Always highly entertaining but I still don’t think I can really commit to much with all the other TV I watch, however tempting it always is. Cheers to all of you that do religiously watch any of it.
Alright, that’s a wrap for this installment of watch what I watch and give a shit about what I give a shit about. Hope you find something of interest and if not, thanks for reading anyway.
July must have had someplace to be because we’re already closing in on the end of the month. I’m actually ok with that. That means we’re that much closer to our turrible and long hot Arizona summer being over AND that much closer to getting the fuck out of here and going on vacation. We haven’t gone much of anywhere this year, since there was a lot to take care of with my ma, so my hubby and I are hitting the road soon to sunny (and cooler) San Diego. It’s been a few years and man, I can’t wait. Plus, it’s my daughter’s maiden voyage, staying home alone, and taking care of her fur brothers. Hopefully she won’t burn the place down but honestly, if that happened, it wouldn’t surprise me. Not because she’s not responsible – she is very much so. I just wouldn’t put it past this shitastic year and being on our BINGO card. I’ve knocked on a lot of wood while writing this up so yeah, no worries. It’s all fun and games. 😉
Alight, enough about that, today is FIN-NALLY Shark Week!! Happy 37th to this great week of Discovery Channel TV (HBO Max too) and enjoy watching all the fun. It’s gonna be FIN-TASTIC! Some weeks/years have been better than others, depending on the celebrity hosts, so we’ll see how this year measures up. I’m SO READY! Along with that, here’s some other goodness to watch at home or at the theater.
The third and final season just started this week, dripping out two episodes and then one a week for a total of eleven through September 17. Stretching out the end of this heart-felt series as best they can and man, the love triangle is already off and running once again in just the first two episodes. I envy all the awesome authors who have had their books turned into popular shows or movies. There are so many now! Perfect material and sure beats studios just resurrecting a classic and trying to reboot it. Don’t get me wrong – some reboots are fun but the majority just feel like Hollywood’s being lazy. When you think about the mounds of books with original content that could be adapted for the screen, the sky’s the limit.
I was jumping for joy that this show finally hit Netflix on July 10 and I resisted the urge to binge it. Still watching it, actually, and what I’ve seen so far is everything I hoped it would be and then some. Megan Statler is a comedy gem and bravo to Lena Dunham for recognizing her talent and writing this show just for her…and putting herself in it as a really fun cameo! It’s also nice to see Will Sharpe flex his acting muscles and be something more than Aubrey Plaza’s door knob of a husband on White Lotus. He played it well but his character in this show perfectly meshes with Megan’s crazy.
July 13 was the 40th Anniversary of Live Aid and CNN put together a great four-episode docuseries about how it all came to be. The episodes are being dripped out on Sunday nights and so far what I’ve seen has been fantastic. It’s soooo nostalgic! Seeing some of the most legendary performances, like Queen, is going to be awesome. The footage is perfect! And, fun fact: Phil Collins performed in both London AND Philly. He flew on the Concord to make it to both! If you’re a fan of music and so, SO many huge bands and musical acts, this is worth the watch.
I missed this when it came out at the theaters back in April. Again, just a lot going on with my ma at the time. I really LOVE anything that Blumhouse produces and that the awesome Meghann Fahy starred in it too, double-bonus. It’s a lot of fun – some-edge-of-your-seat fun and some good ol’ fashion jump scares too. AND it’s only 1 hour and 35 minutes. Is it just me or have feature length movies just gotten waaayyyy too long? I mean, I get it, it’s tough to tell your story in under 2 hours but rise to the challenge and try. And maybe studios think they have to make movies pretty long so that people can justify paying to go see one at the theater? So they gotta give them their money’s worth? I think time IS money and I’d rather see a really well-produced flick in under 2 hours any day. Now, sometimes you want more and it’s justifiable. There’s just a lot of fluff to movies though that maybe could have made it on the cutting-room floor and the final product tightened up some. Just saying. Anyway, have some summer thriller fun with this one!!
I’ll admit it. I was really worried about this one but I secretly had high hopes that James Gunn wouldn’t fuck it up. There was soooo much riding on it, especially after the disappointment of finding out that Henry Cavill would no longer be part of any future DC movies…at least at this point. This movie honors the legacy so well and has just the right amount of James Gunn magic and campiness that makes it work perfectly. I couldn’t have been happier. Maybe I need to start going to movies with lower expectations – it’s just not in me though. I literally LOVE movies so I can always find something good, no matter if it was a box office bomb or not. This one just had REALLY big shoes to fill. I’m ecstatic to see it again. It was a major slam dunk for James’ reign as King of DC.
It’s been over a decade since I’ve watched ANY of the Bachelor seasons. My daughter used to love to watch it when she was little and make fun of all the crazy girls and guys. My hubby and I decided to give this one a go and man, it’s been entertaining. Still jam-packed with drama and we still root for the heinous to be roseless and booted from the island. The “Paradise” seasons add even more crazy to the episodes – the producers are clearly working over time, making it as messy as possible. It always reminds me of UnREAL. Basically a fictionalized version of how these types of shows are made, and all the terrible things they do behind the scenes to make for great ratings, and OMG – it was sooo good. Constance Zimmer is forever my spirit animal after seeing that show. She plays such an awesome bitch. Love her!
Slasher Summer Fun, check! Hoping to capitalize on the Scream and Final Destination reboots phenomenon, here’s another one from the same teen slasher film era. It was pretty fun, with throwbacks/Easter eggs to the originals AND of course some of the stars too, along with fun newbies. If you are a fan like me of the OG, you’ll be pleasantly surprised how they included Sarah Michelle Geller, since she of course had a really legendary death in the original. Not quite as great as Scream, since that will always win the top prize IMHO, but still a fun watch. And, no spoilers, but stick around to see the post-credit scene. They’re hoping enough people showed up to this one so they can make more.
That’s all she wrote. I gotta get back to watching some more old Shark Week episodes to prep for tonight. Remember, like SpongeBob always says, Chum is Fum.
It’s nearly July 4th and we’ve entered the half-way point of 2025. I really wish I was on our annual summer vacation right now but I’m happy I’ll be home to watch the Hot Dog Eating contest, Jaws, fireworks (on TV because it’s hot AF) and the new Jurassic movie – Summer Blockbuster Season is officially here!
We pushed our annual Summer trip to early August. With everything with my ma, I’ve just wanted to hide out and run away from all of it so really looking forward to blowing this popstand soon(ish). I’m also really hoping for less tears, less deep sighs and less anxiety and more laughs, more fun and more calm for the second half of 2025. I’d also like to get off the Struggle Bus any time now. I’ve been a passenger for awhile, driving in circles with no real destination. So here’s to better – not the best but just better and trying to enjoy the journey as much I can.
I’ve slowly but surely been turtling my way through the huge pile of shows and movies that have been waiting in the wings for me to care about again. I’m still really, REALLY bad about not finishing some shows, similar to my reading habits, as I’ve gotten older, but we’ll see if I can cross a bunch off my list over the next few months. The NBA playoffs and season are over too, freeing up some more of my viewing time. BIG congrats to OKC. What a great group of dudes! Ok, all that being said, here’s some shows and movies that I have finished or are in the process of watching.
I’ve attempted to get my hubby to watch this show with me since Season 1 Episode 1. He watched that debut episode and it was so chaotic, full of anger and anxiety that he couldn’t stick with it. Maybe that’s why I like it so much. It’s crazy. The filming and choices the creators have made are always fantastic, not to mention the cast and special guests that pop-up often. I don’t think I ever really cared about that sort of thing until seeing a show that pulls it off so well. It’s just a beautiful hurricane. I watched the last episode of Season 4 on Sunday. There are rumors this may be the final season and I’d be ok with that. It had a natural wrap to it, like they planned it to possibly be exactly that, but it could go on for more too. Still kills me, and I’m sure all its competition, they entered all the awards shows as a comedy. It’s way more drama than comedy and I don’t think they can even really claim it being a dramedy but good for them. Whatever works and gets you those very deserved trophies.
Fun Fact: I see Jeremy Allen White posts on the Gram walking with big bundles of flowers all the time. Just this morning I reposted a set that had some context to them. He has a flower market near his home and he likes to get new flowers weekly so that he can arrange them around his home with his daughters. I mean, the Top Dad Award goes to Yes Chef!
In its third season and doling out the episodes weekly like old school days, this show is Bridgerton-like but not as many laughs and not as much smut. Awesome period piece show with society dramarama and trying to fit in, along with some historical elements peppered in that make it feel very legit. The consultants on set clearly made sure they made it as real as they could. There’s some really top-tier cast members too, including Carrie Coon, Cynthia Nixon and Christine Baranski. Talk about star-power with that trifecta. I’ve been following Carrie for a long time. One of my favorite short-lived shows was The Leftovers, another HBO Max show. It only lasted three seasons, based on a popular book, or maybe that was enough – I don’t know. I remember wanting more but that they did get to tie things up pretty well, knowing it may only last three seasons. I loved the cast so much and the show premise, as sad and fucked up as it was. Check it out if you haven’t already. I also think Carrie has a deep connection (and long-lasting contract) with HBO since she’s also in the latest season of White Lotus. I’ll write about that another time (since I need to really dig in on all the Mike White awesomeness and not feeling like diving deep today), while wearing my DIFF White Lotus colab sunnies. I waited for MONTHS for them to arrive and they finally did! As my daughter jokes, I’m super extra, like guac.
Smoke is a brand new show starring Taron Egerton along with Jurnee Smollett that just dropped on AppleTV. If you’re familiar with Backdraft, one of Kurt Russell’s very best, this show has a similar premise but man, there’s two episodes so far and a MAJOR plot twist has already been introduced! There will be nine total episodes through August 15, dripping them out weekly, again, old school style. That’s what AppleTV does for all their shows. Unpopular opinion – I’m old and still kind of like that. With as much as I watch (and the rest of my social butterfly calendar that keeps me away from being a 24/7 couch potato) I appreciate a weekly show AND if I decide to let it ride and pile up some, I can binge a few episodes too. So best of both worlds. Can we also talk about how awesome Taron is for a sec? I’m always, ALWAYS impressed by actors who can change their accent for a role. I know it’s kind of part of the gig but it’s crazy to me, especially when some of them have very thick accents. How do they do that?! It’s so cool. If you’re a Taron fan like me, check out his other AppleTV show Black Bird with the awesome and soooo talented Paul Walter Hauser. Do yourself another favor and follow Paul on the Gram. He’s a hoot and I love his posts.
This new Owen Wilson feel-good comedy is a lot of Ted Lasso and a dash or two of Tin Cup. I watch it and cry mostly because I know it’s something my pop and ma would both have loved to see and Owen is just such a charming and genuine goofball. I watched him on Hot Ones and I’m convinced his character in all his roles is really his persona in real life or something pretty close. The show is excellent and so much fun to watch, in between my tears.
F1 is a movie to see on the big screen – it was made for it! And if you can, see it at IMAX! I tried and was a fucking idiot and bought the wrong tickets BUT I still saw it on a Harkins Ciné screen which is bigger.
I’m pop culture obsessed, as is very apparent here and on all my social channels, and I read that Apple and the producers considered Tom Cruise for Brad Pitt’s role but decided to not cast him because it would have been too risky. Tom is always pushing the envelope of potential death (see Mission Impossible, Top Gun, etc) and the studio was like, nah, maybe not. Then, I watched/listened to Brad on Dax Shepard’s podcast and he said that it was the first racing movie where they allowed the stars to be insured and really drive the F1 cars…that on average race at 180 MPH. He said he told them that if they weren’t able to get behind the wheel of the real deal then he was out. Brad also has an over-priced line of clothing. Aside from how pretentious that site looks and the prices are, he does seem like a cool and chill dude. I’m sure Angelina and his kids would say otherwise but George Clooney probably would still testify for him and that’s all that matters.
Sinners will be on streamers soon and we finally saw it over the weekend. Wow – crazy and bravo to Ryan Coogler and also Michael B. Jordan for playing twins! Again, I saw a post and article that they put him in some new camera gear to pull off the filming of that. Long way from side by side merged screens that looked super janky but we loved it anyway because move magic, duh.
I think if Ryan was trying to channel some Jordan Peele and join him in the horror ranks of Hollywood, he achieved that, along with having some legit real-world messaging too, also another technique that Jordan has perfected. I always feel like Jordan gives me a “The More You Know” vibe with all his flicks but waaaayyyy deeper. So check, Ryan, I think you did it and all the love and support you’ve gotten from the world and box office about the movie is a testament to that too.
So not a show or movie but a podcast that I like to watch and listen on YouTube. I’m trying to introduce more podcasts to my routine since there are so many good ones, like Good Hang with Amy Poehler. She’s got a great line-up of interviews and is so funny and genuine. It’s a good time and always great conversations. I watch/listen while working. It’s been a nice change and I highly recommend it!
I recently got to see Amy with Tina Fey on their tour and it was a major bucket list moment. It had been a really rough day, the day I had to get everything set up with hospice for my ma and one of my best friends was with me and we managed to still make it to the show that night. I think I laughed harder than maybe their jokes and stories really were that funny, overcompensating for all that I’d been experiencing for months or maybe slightly unhindged, like Tom Hanks in The Money Pit. There’s a scene where he laughs so hard, physically and loudly, when a bathtub falls through the floor, like to the degree of choking himself – it’s just one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen and I still laugh ’til I cry to this day when I rewatch it. I think I was close to that level of outward crazy laughing without irritating the fuck out of all our seatmates. Laughter truly is the best medicine or like Dolly Parton’s character Truvy in Steel Magnolias said “Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion.” Enjoy your 4th celebration and GO JOEY CHESTNUT!
Grief is a real motherfucker. As I texted one of my best friends the other day, some therapist is going to have a really great fucking time “unpacking” all my grief, whenever I get around to seeing someone. And, if they use the word “unpacking” when talking to me about what all I’ve gone through with my ma, I think I’ll deck them. But yes, I do still have my sense of humor – laughter is the best medicine after all and who cares if that’s cliché to say. Cliché can be fun.
Tomorrow, May 16, will be five months since I had an intervention with my ma at her home in Cherry Valley and started on this health and medical journey with her, with multiple hospital visits, moving her to Arizona, getting her lots of medical help includind a large list of doctors and specialists, rehab with physical and occupational therapists, an awesome new apartment at an assisted living community, the works…only to have her recently on May 1 decide to throw in the towel and be done. And by done I mean she decided to stop taking meds and receiving on-going treatment and just call it quits. Enter hospice and end of life arrangements.
A huge part of me is mad as hell since I never wanted her to give up or thought she would but I’m also equal parts sad as hell that I have no idea how she really feels, how depressed she really is to think there’s no way out but to be done and that she’s likely relieved to have made the ultimate decision to stop trying and go back to not being a burden to me and our family.
Ironically her decision is a huge burden and everything we’ve gone through together has been a burden BUT as shitty as it’s been, I’ve been dealing with it all as best I can and I was really happy to see her progress and that she started getting healthier. Having her give up felt like a pretty big fuck you to the last five months but there’s no way but forward now.
Aside from all the negative feelings that came rushing to me with her decision, there’s also a lot of positive feelings from it too. I’m relieved to not have to be the bad guy any more, barking reminders at her about all the things she needs to keep doing to get better and stronger. It was like having a three year old again, reminding her to eat more protein, brush her teeth, keep up with her exercises, ask for help to get to the bathroom before she had an accident and so much more. Now I can hangout with her and do my best to be there for her and enjoy her company in her final days. We can drink lots of Dr. Pepper, eat junk food and garbage, watch TV and just be together.
It wasn’t exactly the way I pictured finally having my mom living in Arizona but it’s so much better than her not being here. There’s relief in knowing she’s ten minutes from my house. There’s relief in knowing she’s getting really great and over-priced care. There’s relief in knowing that I did everything I could to help her. My only regret is that I didn’t sign her up to see a therapist that may have been able to help and give her a more positive outlook on her health…along with some happy pills that could have been the difference in her giving a shit again…or just more of the same and adding to the long list of meds she didn’t want to take. All the nurses and some of the doctors were good about helping keep her spirits up, along with me being a drill sergeant and hammering home that she’s doing great and improving. Because she truly was, even if she didn’t feel like it. There were physical signs of improvement – I just couldn’t see or help her mentally.
And, just when I think I can’t cry any more, more tears show up – that grief, like I said, is a real bitch. I was watching a movie last weekend and one of the characters who had lost her husband said there was no timeline on grief, that she just hadn’t been ready to take her wedding band off yet or allow herself to be open to finding someone new. That pretty much sums up how I’ve felt about my ma. Grief is here to stay for the foreseeable future and I’m mostly equal parts mad and sad with a lot of anxiety and stress sprinkled throughout. I’m trying my best to not dwell on the current situation and focus on remembering all the good. Remembering how great my ma was and that she was larger than life and not the shell of herself laying in a hospital bed. So here’s to my ma and being the best there ever was to raise me into the take-no-shit-nearly-50-year-old that I am. I hope I’ve been able to return the favor by being the best caregiver and daughter to her.
P.S. Sooner than later I swear I’ll start writing again about TV shows and movies and end all this depressing shit. BUT, thanks, all three of you, for continuing to read my rambles, no matter the content.
Happy First Day of Spring. Crazy that we’ve already made it to late March and that our hotter temps are already trying to show up here in Arizona. Please stay away, triple digits, for as long as possible!
This past Sunday, March 16, was two months since I started on this wellness path with my ma. In all honesty, it feels more like six months. The old saying time flies when you’re having fun doesn’t apply in this case. It’s more like time stands still when you’re dealing with anything in the medical industry and you have no patience left or never had it in the first place.
It reminds me of when my pop had cancer and the eternity it took for my mom and him to get help at the VA hospital, especially when he was literally dying and the clock was ticking away. Have I mentioned what a shitty healthcare system we have?
The moral of the current trajectory I’m on with my ma is be careful what you wish for. I wished for my ma to get better and to take better care of herself, only to discover the list of what needed to be taken care of was a mile long. It all really adds up when you haven’t seen a doctor in three decades. So we try to laugh about it, that she’s making up for lost time, while every doctor, nurse, therapist and specialist we see has their head spin when they see her list of ailments. It’s pretty remarkable she’s survived, as morbid as that sounds and is. The story you see around the web about the 100+ year old woman who drinks a Dr. Pepper a day and is still kicking reminds me of my ma. I bought her a shirt that says “Save Water. Drink Dr. Pepper.” for a reason. I took her a mini can every day to the hospital and I knew the days she was really struggling were the days she wouldn’t drink much of it. Same goes for at home now.
In all reality, this dumpster fire of an adventure has been a real learning experience, not just about how cocky I can get with acting like I’m a nurse or doctor, since I’ve now read and experienced enough to maybe give nursing school a go or even med school – not really, just like to act like it. But, it’s more a learning experience about myself, my family, friends, and the medical industry.
I’ve found that many can be empathetic or sympathetic and many are just assholes. I’ve learned that some people can’t dig in and help or even know where to start and that’s ok – maybe some just literally can’t and it’s not in their make-up as a human. Although it’s frustrating, I keep reminding myself that on a daily basis.
I also have learned that I don’t post on social media or write here on my blog to seek sympathy from others – it’s a coping mechanism since I love to write and this whole experience has given me A LOT of material. When I do finally take the time to book my own therapist appointment, I plan to provide whoever the lucky contestant is with the link to this blog. It’s the cliffnotes’ version of what they’re in for BUT they might also find some interesting TV and movie recommendations as a nice bonus.
This whole experience is still a giant PSA to take better care of myself and my family. There’s just no excuse and if depression takes over, seek help. I just really, REALLY wish my ma would have let me help sooner but there’s no take-backsies, especially when it comes to this shitshow of a situation – I’m just still so grateful I got to her before it was too late. And let’s be honest, it may be too late anyway but I’m glad she’s trying. Even as small as the improvements are every day, they’re still improvements.
From Rushia With Love 