So there really are no words to describe what all has happened but I’ll try.

First of all: What the actual FUCK?! Did y’all think something like this could ever happen?! Did you ever think that Disneyland would close for an indefinite amount of time?!  Man, it just feels like a bad movie. Like a Lifetime bad movie. There are literally days like today where I wake up thinking, and forgetting, this dumpster fire is still happening and yep, I have to first remember what day it is, because that’s a struggle and then second yep, remind myself that this shitshow is REAL. Then, I decide if I’m going to really “get ready” or just throw on a hat. You decide what’s my typical daily routine. My “Chaos Coordinator” trucker hat has seen a lot of action.

When this all started, I decided to be lazier than usual but try something new, since ya know, got some time on my hands. I’ve been rambling on a pseudo podcast. I’ve got the writing thing down, or at least I think I do. You tell me?! BUT, I’ve wanted to try the spoken word for awhile and with a face for radio, a podcast was born. Originally, Syd had wanted to try one this past summer. I gave her the opportunity to do it now but no go – now that she’s 13, she’s too cool for school and her mom most of the time. That’s ok though – I’ve been enjoying it and it’s mostly for me because I think I’ve gotten a handful of people listening. It’s just stupid shit, things to do and watch, my comedy, blah, blah, blah.

Anyway, if you’re interested, you can check it out here. I hope to get some “special guests” on there at some point but that would require me to plan a little bit and right now I’m just flying by the seat of my pants. I have a little notebook that I jot down funny things, entertainment updates, things to do and anything else I think of to collect for my daily rants and that’s about it. The notebook does say “Girl Power” on the front so there’s that. Super low budget. So we’ll see about roping some of my friends and family into the mix…if they’re willing.

Otherwise, for me, being an extreme extrovert as in I was given the title “Cruise Director” long ago because I’m the planner for my friends and family, this whole COVID-19 disaster has been super-shitastic. Concerts and events cancelled or postponed, the movie theaters shutdown, restaurants and local businesses just trying to keep afloat (but knowing most won’t be able to reopen), people suffering and dying…fuck…just the world on pause and having to take everything one day at a time, and a day at a time that feels like years. I can’t wait to go to an event again, actually sit down in one of my favorite restaurants and bars, see a movie in a theater, and most importantly, see my mom and my friends all in person.

I’ve managed to continue to be a shopaholic from the comfort of my own home and get tons of shit from my fam because of all the packages that keep arriving but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do. And I’m supporting local, GOD DAMNIT! I’ve even done some baking which means pigs have officially started flying, along with a hellmouth opening up next to my pool. Betty Fucking Crocker, right here. FML.

The meme game is stronger than ever right now too – it’s amazing to see how clever people are. There are A LOT of funny peeps out there. Give ’em a quarantine and they go to town! And that Tiger King shitshow on Netflix, that brought out a whole new batch of crazies. What a show! Meme after meme and GIF after GIF. It’s crazy fun! It definitely helps to pass the time and laugh. Laughter is the best medicine after all and the ONLY medicine I want to have at this point…well, that and beer. There’s always beer.

Speaking of beer, has that not been the strangest thing you’ve witnessed at the grocery store during this mess? The TP is gone yet the booze aisle is still fully stocked. Makes zero sense and it’s still like that every week we go! That’s what I’m hoarding, just saying.

The free entertainment is at an all-time high. Bands performing from their livingrooms, late-night talk show hosts doing the same. New shows coming out left and right on streaming services and movies on VOD. It’s hard to even keep up there’s so much to check out. It’s awesome to see everyone helping people stay home. And, the gifting and donations is beyond wonderful! Everyone pitching in to help. No matter what anyone says because the White House is run by a reality show assclown, Americans still do what they need to in a time of crisis and all on their own – they just dig in where they need to. Not all heros wear capes.

Well, there’s not much more to say than stay the fuck at home, stay safe and wash your fucking hands. Three step process. That’s it and then maybe we can finally go back to normal, whatever that normal will be now. Just as long as I can start filling my calendar up again, that’s all I ask. I’ve got shit to do, people to see and places to go. Oh the places we’ll go. Thanks, Dr. Seuss.